Sometimes all you need is to hear ” you’ll be ok, I’m here for you”. Then you realized you are battling your own battle and you’re the only one that can make yourself succeed. I have to stop expecting a “good job” or a “you can do it” or even a simple “I hope you get better”… Learn to give and not expect anything in return but also not to forget to give yourself the better piece of the pie.
I know this feeling oh too well… I feel myself going down the hole and I can’t get myself out..
How can I explain how I feel… How can anyone understand. I want to hide until it goes away
Depression is “heavy”. It is physically draining, you have barely enough energy to function. Thus you would prefer to stay in bed. And then you think of the things that ‘needed’ to get done today, asking for more than just a ‘barely functional’ human being. Then your day seems like an enormous obstacle you cannot over come.
Depression is also mental pain. The physical ache is dull but the mental one is always sharp and waiting for you. Long term depression means you will start to accommodate that pain, as a way to adapt to the discrepancy between what you think you can manage and what is being asked of you. This sick way of thinking may become normal, so even when the brain chemistry lets up a little for a bit, you are still convinced of whatever “the script” your sick/depressed brain told you (you’re: worthless, unlovable, alone, stupid, lazy, etc). You are in so much pain, for so long, your brain ignores even the survival instinct, and all you want is to not be in pain anymore.